Silence

I have being silent for so long....
Well, i am totally not okay, but i have to tell people i am, because they will never understand how NOT OKAY i am!
What should i do, when everything comes to the end, i hope it just ends up as a total silence....
I do hope time can be reversed when i have the chance to make everything right,but is it too late to correct my mistake now?
GOD,if you really exists, tell me why i have to face this???
I am still waiting for HIS response, but what i get is still a total silence...